Monday, January 26, 2009

We Shall See...


After my last post, I did a bit of soul searching. I finally got the chance to talk to HIM and figured out why the hell he was mad at me. Okay, so this is what happened. We used to talk like all day, every single day. And of course it died down a bit because we both DO have lives to live. But soon it got to the point where the only time we spoke was when I sent my "goodmorning" and "goodnight" texts. Nothing in between. And I absolutely hated that. So me being me, I said something about it, and I kept saying something about it. But I soon realized that it wasn't WHAT I said; but HOW I said it. I always said things like, "I guess I'll just ttyl since I'm obviously talking to myself." Yanno, shit like that; thinking it would get me SOME KIND of attention. Damn, was I so wrong. I soon realized that it was a bad idea, only because he told me earlier today that all that it did was push him away. Which was NOT my intentions at all. -sigh- So two days passed and he has yet to talk to me and I'm getting upset. Last night I became so upset that I broke down and cried like a big baby. And when I say I cried, I CRIED like my damn dog died. I cried because these past 2 days I stooped down to my lowest and BEGGED this guy to talk to me. And he STILL paid me no attention. Me? Beg? Yes I did. Why? Idk. I just couldn't stand the thought of not talking to him and not being in his presence. And honestly, I don't need that. I shouldn't have to stoop down to any level to get the attention of a man; or anyone at that. But at about 2 something this morning, I received a text from him asking me to promise not to have those bullshit ideas about him not wanting to talk to me. He asked me to promise to never say tell him to "have a good night" at 3 in the afternoon because he's not talking to me. He asked me to promise that I would never be afraid to fall for him. And once he sent me that text, I immediately replied with, "The last one I can't promise you. It's not that I'm afraid to fall for you. I'm more afraid of falling by myself..." After I pressed "send" I regretted it and tossed my phone under my pillow and laid my head down hoping he wouldn't respond. And he didn't....for another 10-15 minutes. By that time I was already asleep and when I woke up, I immediately grabbed my phone and read this: "You don't have to worry about that...simply because...I've already fallen for you, my dear." So right now all I can really say is, we'll see where this goes.

26 comments:

Taylorgotbeats said...

oh thats why you were cryin, see how it goes, good luck wit that... I just think its crazy how in the last 5 years people have gone from talking on the phone to love text lol and people have broken up over misunderstandings due to lose of service and dead batteries

PORCHE ` said...

Why did my eyes water up lol? i KNOW that feeling too well =/

i hope everything works out between you to because if he's worth your tear (dead family pet tears) then maybe he is capable of holding your heart, eh?

Rai said...

Awww. Hopefully you guys can get it all figured out. =]

Falling for someone is a scary thing.
But sometimes It's good to let yourself be vulnerable.

Eighty4 said...

men are always so confusing to understand! sometimes you just have to go for what u want! GO GIRL!

Miss.Stefanie said...

Men are slow---slow and slow. Look at Deputy Sexy Pants........"The last one I can't promise you. It's not that I'm not afraid to fall for you. I'm more afraid of falling by myself..." YOure such a poet mamas

devon said...

girl i am totally in the same situation me and my boyfriend are taking abreak right now, but i use to send him things like that to him also and i was afraid to fall for him too but i couldnt help it and plus knowing that i wasnt in it by myself made things a wholeee lot better! so we're good!

and i hope you guys work through everything :) he sounds like a good one !

kmx. said...

Aww...you just gave me some confidence to swallow my pride and hit him up. I'm not the begger type...I just wanna know why...but this is about you so fck my life...nah

but that was so sweet. like something out of a book, or movie adorable, i hope everything works out though, goodluck love ;]

Crys said...

Awww; wish you the best!!

diplomatikk said...

-sigh-.
the many dangers of falling.

:|

i'm still working on NOT being in the relationship that i'm already in.

Jasmine Nicole said...

Maybe he was testing you or something, Idk .
At least he came around, and you guys are talking again .
Hope things work out !

Teems said...

what a nice ending... I hope it goes in right direction. Me and mine are straight. We did couple things today and he called me "honey" so we cool. lol. Yay for you and I!

A.R. said...

i feel you on this post, terrell says he doesn't like the way i say shit sometimes & i'm trying to work on it. but i hope things go in a positive direction for you, hun.

Brothers Blog said...

I hope that things work out for the best between you two. It's hard to leave yourself vulnerable because you have to be open to both pain and hapiness. I pray only the latter for you.

B-More BAP said...

Awwwwwwwww...keep us posted :-)

StarzGazR said...

aww babe-- that was adorable!! I'm glad you opened up.. i know it's SAFER to keep it inside.. but you never know how good and happy you can feel when things work out!!
Wish ya the best =)

Domenic 'Dom Corleone' said...

Best of luck ma :)

diplomatikk said...

- i love you!
you always respond, i mean REALLY RESPOND to my posts. thats great :)

JuJu said...

awh ma; that's crazy!! that's sweet!! sometimes guys can be so damn confusing and full of heartbreak and i def feel ya on the being scared to fall alone.. im glad he's back in your life tho.. ;)

.rawkii said...

I hope it all works out. Haha. I need to learn to risk the "fall" too.

CANNED extravagance said...

AWWW that is sooo sweet.
*happy ending*
I MEAN THE CRYIN' AND STUFF ADDED TO THE DRAMATIX OF THE story but we've all done it...
it worked out though...

Jervis said...

damn,once again im sorry u had to go thru that.smh,dats fucked up. but lets juss hope that things get better from now on

Ms. Naomie said...

awh..i really hope everything works out between you guys

toytoyy said...

awww babeeee.
i do the same thing. i always say slick shit & that's part of my problem, i have a smart ass mouth. when a nigga dnt respond to my txts i immediately think that they're ignoring me. i've done this a lot, & unfortunately for me, it didn't end up like you.

good luck with that mama.
love youuu.

ill;kinda said...

men sometimes need to chuck it up. I used to do the same thing, if I was being ignored I would send a text to let him know that I felt I was being ignored. AND... when sending a text that I wouldn't know what the response would be I would throw my phone and not pick it up for like another hour because I was afraid of what it might say.

Hopefully things work out for the 2 of you. :)

Mala Mala said...

Omgggggggg

This is the cutest fuckin thing i've ever readdddd.

I almost cried seriously !

ariele said...

im late on this one, forgive me


]= but ehhh i got an aching reading this. gosh we deal w.so much crap from guys. its not my crap but i feel for u cus my crap is similar haha